? i am fat and my health teacher told me that. have a nive day.. i guess single maybee.. i dunno anymore. wat to think now? nothing. cause thinking only leads to killing yourself. So i dont think much. and you shouldnt either. cause you will end up dead? When you think of the past. You think about memories. And what you ould of had. And that only makes you sad. but if your a lucky one thinking. will only make you... happy.
Current Mood:i dunno..go figure. Current Music:thursday: tomorrow i'll be you.
You know if people didn't care about what other people thought about them alot of people would look really different and act a whole lot different. And yeah. Sometimes i wish i could ex-change mi parents mi family mi everything just so i could try something new something thats not me something thats different. I mean don't get me wrong but after awhile you get sick of them and in your worst times they are allways bugging you. Asking really weird questions like "are you on drugs" , "Is everything at school okay" And all you want to sy say is What The Fuck is wrong with you what kind of question is that. But its not worth the groundation. Sometimes i just wish that they would let you solve your own problems and keep there shitty opinions to them selves. But no they insist on telling you that they were a teenager once and they no what you are going through and blah blah blah. Yeah and then they lay the i went to school [h.s. m.s.] and the only thing that is running through your mind is bull shit do you really think you can relate to me. You really think that you went to the same school as me and had the same friends as me. "No but i can relate dear" and now all you feel liek doing is throwing up and hitting them. I mean what do they know? Well i guess if you think about it they are just our generation re born again. Well dont you think life could just be soo much easier if people would leave you alone stay out of your way. But no they love to interfear they love to ask questions push you over the edge. Thats what makes life alot more intresting right? You know one thing i dont get is when [parents] tell you that you cant date himor her cause [s]he has no future or is a loser well that is one of the biggest mistakes they make cause that only makes you want them more. I mean when your a teenager your supposed to rebel against your parents its in the big book of how to get your parents to hate you more. I mean when they say don't ever sneak out at night or don't ever do drugs well wat do you want to do..? the thiings they want you to stay away from. I mean and the greatest thing is when they ask you to come to them when your ready for sex and to tell them so they can get you on birth control. And one day you causaly ask about it and they flip and yell and say your not ready for sex your to young.. then you wonder well how old were you when you lost your virginty and to find out they were the same age and then you andf you just think well how come i cant be ready now? And who even said i was ready i mean so much for asking i guess you seem to know everything when you assume things right umm no.. well and when do we get to experment i mean at school theres the drug scene the sex scene the finding your own sexuality the im a emo kid scene the punk scene and i mean were only human right so lets experment were only teenagers.
Everything err the smallest things just piss me off. LIke when mi computer freezes for 20 seconds but still. This week has seem to go down hill for me. I have been [err mi computer just froze again.] informed that i cant no longer see or talk to mi boy friend. If you were in my case you would probbly just say wat ever and break up with him but thats kinda hard when you have waited 2 years to date him and when you have just told him that you loved him. So yeah his mom and dad are they ones trying to break us up but matt just wont do it i hope. well for right now we are still going out.. But i hope we wont break up i mean its almost been 2 months and i dont like to break peoples hearts. Well i have in the past but its not fun to watch them cry over you. And have them tell you that they still love you and your speechless so i try to stay away from that place. I dont belive in teenage love i thinks its fake and you dont no what love is yet but life is short so live it long right? Im sure you will love him today and he will be gone tomorrow. I have watched mi best friend break down and for me to sit there and say sorry and why dosent help much. I mean you would of thought he would of waited till she got home to tell her and beak her down and make her feel like nothig and shit but no he didnt. So what do you do? Spend the night and talk about the good times cause well thoose are only memories now. I have never been throught a deamitic break-up but i have been shot down. But luckly i didnt get hurt to bad. I just figured out real real quick that he is a no good piece of shit that would of only used me so i thank him for not taking me. I really do thank you david. I have this great disire for books that invole sex and drugs i really dunno why. I have finshed an amazing bo called Crank today. It was intense the ending lef t you hanging craving for more but there wasnt any. To find out that she ends up single and pregnat. That must be scary to have a child and still be in school. I dont think i could do it. I really don't. But i dont plan on having sex any time soon so its okay. I dont plan on having sex till it feels right. Mi best friend is scared of telling her ex on how she feels why tho? Well im not her and i have never been i nher shoes but i understand her like no one else i no how she feels sometimes when no one gits her and i thank her for her being there for me because with out you jenna i would of commited sucide allready i mean i have thought about it but im not that selfish. I hope she is ready for wat is comming i worry about you sometimes but i no your a big girl and you can handle it i just want you to know that i will be here for you allways and ever so any problem please just tell me and i will try to help in any way possible. Well mi parents are calling me to get off so i must go.
Current Mood: okay Current Music:Taking back sunday
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
machine_s's journal
apathetic